Blog #11 Action and Description

HARRY

INT. HARRY IS IN THE SECURITY ROOM IN THE CAPITAL BUILDING, WATCHING THE SCREENS. JACKS LOCATION CATCHES HIS EYE.
Cynthia, order Jack to report to the capital building at once.  He was pin-pointed in an area of interest for Oliver.

CYNTHIA
WALKING INTO THE ROOM AT A HURRIED PACE.

Yes sir, I'll ping him immediately.

(move forward in time to Jacks arrival)

JACK
WALKING INTO HARRY CLAUDE'S OFFICE.

Hello sir, how may I be of assistance today?

HARRY
SITTING AT HIS CHAIR, THEN STANDING UP TO WALK TO JACK.

Take a seat Jack.  Why were you in the Keeper woods this afternoon?  I'm aware you like to take walks on the outskirts of it, but you had ventured pretty deep today.

JACK
LOOKING AROUND THE ROOM, FOCUSING ON STAYING CALM.

Oh, just exploring new territory I suppose.  I wasn't aware that I was in a danger zone?

HARRY
LOOKING DOWN AT JACK.

Non sense, it's just an area of interest to the capital is all.  You didn't see anything on your walk did you?

JACK
RESPONDES. LOOKS LIKE HE'S IN THOUGHT, RESPONDES AGAIN.

Nope. (waits a few seconds) Well I did see a few rabbits who looked pretty lost, I almost took them home!

HARRY
SPEAKING IN A FATHERLY TONE.

That's nice Jack.

JACK
LOOKS AT THE DOOR

Is that all you needed from me today?

HARRY
APPEARING MENACING TO JACK.

Yes Jack, you are free to go.  We will be keeping a very close eye on you though.  Be aware of that the next time you venture too deep into the Keeper Woods.

JACK
OBLIVIOUS TO THE WARNING HARRY JUST GAVE HIM.

Will do sir.  Have a nice day sir, Cynthia.

CYNTHIA

Goodbye Jack.

(after Jack leaves)

HARRY
APPEARING FRUSTRATED

You can never tell when that boy is lying I tell you, he's just so foolish.

CYNTHIA
APPEARING CONFUSED.

Are you saying that you don't believe him?

HARRY
PACING AROUND AND PULLING AT HIS BLONDE HAIR

I'm not sure; either way I want the best swat team to go and search around that area that Jack was located in.  I want this to be done tomorrow, do you understand.

CYNTHIA
ON HER WAY TO THE DOOR

Yes sir, of course.  I'll assemble the team right away.

JACK
SCURRING DOWN THE HALLWAY AFTER LISTENING TO HARRY'S ORDERS TO CYNTHIA.

Oh no!

CONTEMPLATING WHAT HE SHOULD DO FOR A MOMENT WHEN HE IS OUT OF THE CAPITAL

I need to go tell my friend!
KNOWING THAT IF HE SAID OLIVER'S NAME HE WOULD GET THEM BOTH KILLED.

Blog #10 Moving the Story Forward

HARRY

Cynthia, order Jack to report to the capital building at once.  He was pin-pointed in an area of interest for Oliver.

CYNTHIA

Yes sir, I'll ping him immediately.

(move forward in time to Jacks arrival)

JACK

Hello sir, how may I be of assistance today?

HARRY

Take a seat Jack.  Why were you in the Keeper woods this afternoon?  I'm aware you like to take walks on the outskirts of it, but you had ventured pretty deep today.

JACK

Oh, just exploring new territory I suppose.  I wasn't aware that I was in a danger zone?

HARRY

Non sense, it's just an area of interest to the capital is all.  You didn't see anything on your walk did you?

JACK

Nope. (waits a few seconds) Well I did see a few rabbits who looked pretty lost, I almost took them home!

HARRY

(speaking in an fatherly tone)

That's nice Jack.

JACK

Is that all you needed from me today?

(looks at the door)

HARRY

Yes Jack, you are free to go.  We will be keeping a very close eye on you though.  Be aware of that the next time you venture too deep into the Keeper Woods.

JACK

Will do sir.  Have a nice day sir, Cynthia.

CYNTHIA

Goodbye Jack.

(after Jack leaves)

HARRY

You can never tell when that boy is lying I tell you, he's just so foolish.

CYNTHIA

Are you saying that you don't believe him?

HARRY

I'm not sure; either way I want the best swat team to go and search around that area that Jack was located in.  I want this to be done tomorrow, do you understand.

CYNTHIA

Yes sir, of course.  I'll assemble the team right away.

JACK

(scurrying down the hallway after listening to Harry's orders to Cynthia)

Oh no!

(contemplating what he should do for a moment)

I need to go tell my friend! (he doesn't dare say Oliver's name in the Capital building, that would for sure get them both killed.)

Blog #9 Dialogue Relationship

JACK
So, what's the plan?
OLIVER
What plan? What are you talking about Jack.
JACK
You know, the plan you have to over throw Harry.  The one where we get to be the heros, the big guys on campus the-
OLIVER
Ok! I get it! I don't have one either.
JACK
What do you mean you don't have one. You need to have one! We won't be able to do this without a plan! Or more people! What are we going to do? How will this work? This is never going to work, thats how.
(he starts pacing around in Olivers small living room, the dog following him)
OLIVER
Stop! Your making my damn dog dizzy!
 (looks at the dog who's lying in a heep on the floor looking dazed)
What we need is a few trustworthy people and a good plan, now let's get down to it.
JACK
Okay! Whatever you say, you know I'll agree with you. You just tell me what to do; I'll do it.
OLIVER
And that needs to stop. You need to form your own mind, Jack.  You are a trustful person and it's an admirable trait but you let people walk all over you too often because of that.
JACK
I'll try my best to stop?
OLIVER
Just try to be you!

Blog #7 The Hollywood Formula

Opening Scene:
The start of the movie is of the camera zooming in on a bright and sunny forest.  As the camera goes in deeper we see a small wood cabin buried deep in the woods.  Throughout this time there is suspenseful music playing softly in the back round.  The camera goes through the front door that has been left open and focus' on an older man writing in a worn looking journal, the last action of the opening scene is the man looking up into the camera and the screen going black with a "boom".




Inciting Incident:
 During this time we see Jack starting to take a walk in the Keeper woods, the area in which Oliver lives hidden in his cabin. Jack has been fascinated with the woods for some time now and has finally decided to venture into this unknown area. Meanwhile, back at the headquarters of the Dewian government, Harry and Cynthia have been watching Jack through the tracker that was placed in his forehead when he was regenerated.  Jack’s venture into the woods lands him near a wooden cabin-the secret home of Oliver.  Jack, being the nosy person he is, walks right up to the front door and starts knocking on the door.  Oliver loads his gun, opens the door and aims to shoot at his intruder.   Jack is very insistent and Oliver finally realizes that he truly is no harm.  Moving forward we see Jack and Oliver talking about the government, Oliver being surprisingly open on his opinion even though Jack has told him that he is a police officer.  Oliver makes it clear that Jack is a fool for believing anything that the government tells him, something that’s been in the back of his mind for some time now.  Moving back to Harry and Cynthia, they check up on Jack and see that he is in a red zone-an area of interested for Oliver.  They transport him into the building and ask him questions about what is in that area.  Jack catches sight of a picture of Oliver and decides to lie about what is in the area; Harry decides to check it out anyways the following day.  When Jack is released from the building he immediately goes to Oliver to warn him of the oncoming government and offers him a safe, secret place to stay further in the woods in a cave.  Oliver realizes that this and decides that he can trust Jack in his planned revolution.   


The Big Decision:
Revolving around Jack, the big decision come after Oliver and Jack have official met on the day that Jack accidentally discovered Oliver secret dwelling.  While being a surprisingly good host and making his guest tea, Oliver is having an internal debate on whether or not to tell Jack about his plans for revolution.  "He's a damn police officer!."  "He doesn't know any better!"  These are the two thoughts that keep running through his mind.  By the time he gives Jack his tea it's been over ten minutes.  Oliver decides that he really doesn't know any better and throws caution to the wind, telling him of his thoughts and how wrong the government of Dewy truly is.  This involves Jack being called a "fool" more than once and Oliver using the word "damn" every thirteen words.  The day ends with Jack going home only to be called into the Capital building by none other than Harry Claude himself.  As he enter Harry's office he is bombarded with questions,  "Where were you today?"  "How did you know how far you were into the woods", and the most important question, "Did you see anyone in the woods?"  Jack knew that Oliver was being searched for; his picture was everywhere.  His internal debate was whether or not to turn him in.  The entire time he was with him, he denied was Oliver said, stating that it wasn't true, but now? In a snap decision he states, "I didn't see anything except for a few rabbits running around."  The next scene Oliver opens his front door to Jack standing there.  The first words out of his mouth are, "I want to help you, but we need to leave now."

Blog #8 Dialogue

1.  Speak your dialogue, while you're writing mouth you're dialogue over and over.

2.  Be able to identify each character by what they are saying.  Each one should have it's own mannerisms and sound different from the others.

3.  Make a "supercharged atmosphere".  Putting two characters who would do anything to avoid each other together makes it seem like the author isn't getting in the way and that you're eavesdropping.

Blog # 6- Story Outline

Set-up:

The movie starts out with a slowly zooming view of a bright, sunny forest.  As the camera continues to zoom a small brown log cabin appears in the distance.  The cabin becomes closer and closer, meanwhile gloomy and suspenseful music is playing.  As the deep brown log cabin fills the screen, the camera then continues inside as the heavy wooden door is left open.  Finally, the viewer sees an old, gray man slowly rocking back and forth in a blue rocking chair.  There is a large chocolate lab sitting beside him, and he is writing in a small black leather book that looks extremely worn down and antique.  The old man gently looks up and when his bright blue eyes finally pierce the camera and look straight at the viewers, the screen suddenly goes black with a “boom” noise accompanying it.  The picture on the screen reappears, but this time in black and white, insinuating a flashback.  The setting is a dreary and dingy city, seemingly polluted and very industrial looking.  There is a large billboard labeling the city “Dewey”. The sky is gray and murky dark clouds are constantly looming over the town.  The camera switches to a gray building where inside two individuals are conversing. 

“Cynthia” the man with dark black side swept hair whispers in a commanding voice.  “It is time.  Oliver is turning 45 next Tuesday.  He has been a good worker for us, but it is time to move on.  He can do us no good anymore, and besides, I fear he is gaining too much knowledge.”

“But Harry, Oliver is not even-” A woman dressed entirely in green and spawning half blonde, half black hair started.

“It is decided, Cynthia.”  The man snapped, although the woman could sense a hint of fear in his voice.  “He will be regenerated on Tuesday at 4pm.  Tell the others.”

Inciting Incident:

 During this time we see Jack starting to take a walk in the Keeper woods, the area in which Oliver lives hidden in his cabin. Jack has been fascinated with the woods for some time now and has finally decided to venture into this unknown area. Meanwhile, back at the headquarters of the Dewian government, Harry and Cynthia have been watching Jack through the tracker that was placed in his forehead when he was regenerated.  Jack’s venture into the woods lands him near a wooden cabin-the secret home of Oliver.  Jack, being the nosy person he is, walks right up to the front door and starts knocking on the door.  Oliver loads his gun, opens the door and aims to shoot at his intruder.   Jack is very insistent and Oliver finally realizes that he truly is no harm.  Moving forward we see Jack and Oliver talking about the government, Oliver being surprisingly open on his opinion even though Jack has told him that he is a police officer.  Oliver makes it clear that Jack is a fool for believing anything that the government tells him, something that’s been in the back of his mind for some time now.  Moving back to Harry and Cynthia, they check up on Jack and see that he is in a red zone-an area of interested for Oliver.  They transport him into the building and ask him questions about what is in that area.  Jack catches sight of a picture of Oliver and decides to lie about what is in the area; Harry decides to check it out anyways the following day.  When Jack is released from the building he immediately goes to Oliver to warn him of the oncoming government and offers him a safe, secret place to stay further in the woods in a cave.  Oliver realizes that this and decides that he can trust Jack in his planned revolution.   

Rising Action:

1. As Jack and Oliver begin their journey, things are a bit tense.  Oliver seems annoyed with Jack, although at this point he can’t really afford to lose him, so just avoids Jack and keeps to himself. There is little conversation between the two, but Jack continues his attempts to gain the old man’s trust by putting effort into small things.  One morning Oliver wakes to the smell of food, and realizes that Jack has cooked them a breakfast of bacon, eggs, and cooked vegetables.  From this point on, Jack and Oliver begin to develop a relationship, which will be crucial later in the movie when they need to work together.

2. The two men realize that there has been a large red bird following them thus far on their journey.   Oliver recognizes that Jack still has the tracking device installed in him, and this is why the bird is following them, because it is a government device spying on them.  Oliver cut the tracking device out of Jack’s forehead, and this is a very bloody but pivotal scene.

3. Oliver and Jack sit down and devise a plan of action, because they realize that the government, specifically Harry Claude and Cynthia, are close on their tails.  They draw out a specified plan, in which they decide that they need to gather support and build up a small force, then infiltrate the capital building of Dewey. 

4. The men travel around for several days, going house to house and explaining their plan to various citizens.  They end up gaining three more people to support their cause, including two men named Filmore Junior and Juan Greenwich, and one very quiet woman named Harriet Hillington.  These new characters are crucial to the plot, and are all very different with big personalities. 

5. Lastly, as the group of rebels is on their way to the capital, they pass through the Keeper woods and find a small brown house with smoke rising from the chimney.  With caution, they approach the house and find a man named Hoover Page inhabiting it.  Hoover is the scientist who invented “lifewater”, and explains his story to the group.  Hoover joins their cause and since he was once involved in the government, he know many of the secrets.  He leads the group into Dewey .

Climax: The six individuals sneak through Dewey and eventually get to the Capital building.  They are dressed in all black and planning on assinating Harry Claude, who they believe to be the root of all evils in Dewey.  As they slip in to the Capital building, they believe that they are safe but when then reach Harry Claude’s “Green Room” or office; they bust open the door and find themselves surrounded by  Deweyian guards, and Harry Claude standing in the middle of them with a sly grin. 

Falling Action:

                The plan is put into action.  The six of them have gone into the capital building and are attempting to murder Harry Claude and destroy what is left of the regeneration serum.  They have encountered the soldiers waiting for them in Harry Claude’s office and have hidden away in one of the compartments trying to devise a new plan of action.  Oliver is strongly for going in gun ablaze, but surprisingly Jack is able to talk some sense into him, stating that doing so would get them all killed.  The scene changes to Harry Claude telling his guard’s to kill all of them but leave Oliver for him.  Jack knows the ins and outs of the capitol building and he also knows that Harry’s main concern is capturing Oliver.  They devise a new plan to move into the room having Oliver stay back to draw out Harry.  As the others are busy trying to murder the others the scene goes to Harry and Oliver in the ultimate face-off.  Harry talks about how he’s been searching for Oliver for some time and that they will never be able to take over the government.  Oliver replies that everyone is too afraid of Harry to stand up for the citizens of Dewey, but they all know what he is doing are wrong.  The two struggle to gain control and a short fight scene ensues where Oliver finally murders Harry Claude.  Oliver walks back into Harry’s office where he sees the other emptying his safe of all the regeneration serum. 

Resolution:

                Oliver and the others confront the rest of the main government officials and devise a plan to inform all that has happened in the past few hours.  They decide that there will be no more regeneration and that it’s time for an entirely new government for Dewey.  The final scenes are of Jack and Oliver in their respective offices in the Capitol building where they are co-presidents of Dewey. 

Blog #5-Final Logline

When a government spy is summond to be regenerated, he flees to the woods and enlists the help of a phony policeman to assist him in rebelling against the Dewian government.

Blog #4- The Script Logline

When a government spy is summoned to be regenerated, he goes into hiding and enlists the help of a phony policeman to assist him in taking back the Dewian government.